


lose yourself

by jjbyers (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, Heavy Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Teen Angst, Young Love, keith is dead, klangst, teen death, young death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 03:52:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9417329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jjbyers
Summary: tw: teen deathlance never knew how much keith really meant to him until it was too late, and it seems like hes the only one who cant move on.





	

**Author's Note:**

> thank u to my lovely friends for talking me into actually writing this. enjoy the angst!!

it was all a blur.

 

lance remembered keith. the red paladin, impulsive. part of lance blamed himself, he was always trying to one up keith.

 

but what he didnt imagine was that keith would get hit. keith got hit, and it cracked his armor. and he fell- and all he could see was red. lance shouted something along the lines of keiths name. all he knew was that when he heard keith get hit, when he heard the armor crack, he was running towards the fallen paladin.

He pulled keith behind a rock, holding him. keith was taking deep breaths, looking at lance. keith wanted to say something, anything, get back up and brush it off but he couldnt breathe. 

 

lance didnt know what to say. lance bit his lip as his eyes teared up, holding the boy close. keith was already getting paler. lance just wanted to comfort him. he wanted to be there for keith, because god knows he hasnt been the best friend.

 

lance ran a hand through keiths hair, "i-its alright, buddy." he choked out, wiping the tear away. "its gonna be ok." lance smiled, sadly, and keith blinked. he couldnt say anything. "i know. it hurts. just rest, okay? you did amazing-" he choked, pulling keith closer. "you did so amazing, alright? a-and you did so good. you helped us a lot, you know?" he let out a shaky breath, letting the tears run down his face, hearing keiths shaky breathing. he seemed so peaceful, and lance hated it. "and- and i know you're hurting, alright? but- but you're gonna be okay. just let go, okay? you did amazing, keith. god damnit, you did amazing, and you're- you're gonna be ok now. i promise, okay bud?" he was- he was bad at this. he could feel himself crying as keith closed his eyes. lance pulled the boy closer and hummed, having to use one hand to cover his mouth. 

 

lance lost everything when he felt keiths heart stop, and his breath slowed down until eventually, that stopped too. he pulled keith closer, sobbing into his hair. "i love you, keith," he sobbed, "i love you so much." 

 

* * *

 

lance couldnt move. most of the days, shiro had to drag him out of bed. how could you recover from that? holding- holding your one true love as they die. lance didnt know if keith was hurting, he didnt know if he was in pain. he didnt know what his last thoughts were, lance didnt know anything except that keith was gone. forever, and lance didnt want to accept that.

 

_lance walked into the dining room, his face stained with blood and tears. everyone looked at him. "whats wrong, wheres keith?"_

 

_"keiths dead."_

 

lance didnt know how he managed to wake up everyday, go back out there and fight. but there he was, sitting next to keiths seat. some days, he would look at keiths seat and wait for him to come back. come back to him, come back to real life. but keith isnt coming back.

 

"i think its time to.. find someone to pilot the red lion."

 

lance didnt hear who said it. he didnt care who said it. he choked on his spit, slamming his fists on the table. everyone looked at him, and lance tried his best to hold back the sobs. 

 

"no. y-you cant replace him. not yet- no, n-not yet." lance sobbed, and hunk got up to hug his friend. everyone seemed to move on so quickly, but thats because they werent there. they didnt see the light drain from keiths eyes, they didnt see the blood pour out his  chest. they didnt see keith turn pale and cold and- they didnt hold him while he died. so they couldnt understand, and they never would.

 

lance ran. he didnt know where he was going, he couldnt see anything, everything was quiet and numb. when he opened his eyes, he found himself in the red lion. he sniffed, running his hand agaisnt the walls, sitting where keith used to sit. keith made red home, there were pictures, and some papers. everything was so- keith.

 

it still smelt like him. thats what made lance start crying. he could still smell him, he could still feel him. he remembered him. and- and its all crazy.

 

* * *

 

 

lance had to adjust to piloting the red lion. it felt wrong, it all felt wrong. he didnt want to wear  _keiths_ armor, or pilot  _keiths_ lion. he just wanted keith back. he wanted to hold him, and kiss him, and show him how much he meant to lance.

 

It took a while for red to warm up to lance, but like keith, he was persistent, and lance guessed red was still greiving too.

"i know, girl," he sighed, talking to the lion, "its hard not having him here. it seems wrong. but.. but keiths gone now. and you're all i have left of him."

 

and yeah, lance found himself enjoying the red lion. lance found himself knowing what keith felt like.

 

but sometimes, he just needed to sit in red, holding keiths stupid jacket, and cry. because hes never gonna truly get over it. hes not gonna get over feeling keiths heart rate slow, and eventually stop. thats never gonna go away.

 

when he closed his eyes, he saw keith. he saw him happy.

 

keith cant be happy anymore. 


End file.
